Outcasts
Almost finished. I will post it in parts.
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Preface
Nothing passes without a trace, not a single phenomenon or action. There are always consequences.
We had to run away as quickly as we could. Why are those events that we so desperately want to erase from memory, on the contrary, engraved into it forever, and to lose these memories means to lose oneself, as if cutting off one’s head, or tearing out one’s heart.
Every time I close my eyes, I see him falling to the ground, his soft body, his wild eyes, impotently begging for help, knowing full well that nothing in the world will help him.
I see myself from the side, my jaw clenched, my fists clenched so tightly that my nails cut into the skin, creating wounds from which blood flows.
I hear myself scream... No, people don't scream like that. This is how animals scream when they are killed, or their children when they are torn to pieces alive.
My eyes are so wide open, I don’t even blink, I’m afraid to miss even a second, the last precious seconds of his life. I didn't need to blink, there was no need, tears blurred my eyes.
I understood that he would die, there was no way to save him, but something inside me so fiercely and desperately wanted a miracle to happen, for him to survive, get up and run after us.
I struggle, I am carried further away from him, I try to stop, go up to him, help, but someone’s strong hands grab me and carry me away. Through the noise in my ears I hear screams, I hear my name, I understand deep inside that I need to leave quickly, someone is dragging me along, I can’t go on my own and I don’t want to, I want to stay here, now, in this cave , with him. Leave me here! I don’t want to see anything or anyone anymore. I don’t want to live in a world where he doesn’t exist.
I cling to the walls with my hands, but in vain, it’s stronger than me, my strength is treacherously leaving me, all my hands are covered in blood, and I can’t even understand whether it’s my blood or not...
Previous pageNext pageEvery time I close my eyes, I see him falling to the ground, his soft body, his wild eyes, impotently begging for help, knowing full well that nothing in the world will help him.
I see myself from the side, my jaw clenched, my fists clenched so tightly that my nails cut into the skin, creating wounds from which blood flows.
I hear myself scream... No, people don't scream like that. This is how animals scream when they are killed, or their children when they are torn to pieces alive.
My eyes are so wide open, I don’t even blink, I’m afraid to miss even a second, the last precious seconds of his life. I didn't need to blink, there was no need, tears blurred my eyes.
I understood that he would die, there was no way to save him, but something inside me so fiercely and desperately wanted a miracle to happen, for him to survive, get up and run after us.
I struggle, I am carried further away from him, I try to stop, go up to him, help, but someone’s strong hands grab me and carry me away. Through the noise in my ears I hear screams, I hear my name, I understand deep inside that I need to leave quickly, someone is dragging me along, I can’t go on my own and I don’t want to, I want to stay here, now, in this cave , with him. Leave me here! I don’t want to see anything or anyone anymore. I don’t want to live in a world where he doesn’t exist.
I cling to the walls with my hands, but in vain, it’s stronger than me, my strength is treacherously leaving me, all my hands are covered in blood, and I can’t even understand whether it’s my blood or not...
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